When you reach a certain age and you still haven’t had a real relationship, it can be tempting to throw your hands up in the air and be done with it.
You put so much time and effort into finding the right person it’s starting to feel like a full-time job, so why have you still not found them?
You’re doing all of the things you’re supposed to be doing. That includes swiping right on Tinder, going on dates, meeting all kinds of people, but it’s still not going anywhere.
All of your efforts appear to be pointless and you’re starting to wonder if you should give up on love. That would be a disservice to yourself. Here’s why you shouldn’t lose hope of being in a real relationship.
There’s no time frame
There is no timeframe for your first real relationship. In life, everyone moves at different paces. Don’t compare your own progress to someone else’s.
It really doesn’t matter if you’re in your twenties or your thirties and you still haven’t had a relationship or fallen in love yet. And it’s not something you should feel embarrassed about either.
You may feel like you’re running out of time, and everyone around you seems to be in happy relationships, but it’s not true.
You’re ready for love right now, but sometimes you have to wait, otherwise, if you rush into something you will come to regret it.
Just because you haven’t found it yet, it doesn’t mean you’ll never have it. It might sound like a cliché, but love can enter your life at any time. There’s never a right time or a wrong time to fall in love. It just happens. And then it’s up to you to decide what happens next.
love comes in all forms
Romantic love isn’t the only kind of love you should be looking for. When you limit yourself to just one type of love and you’re not able to find it, that’s when you start feeling disappointment.
However, all kinds of love fill you up. The love from your friends, family, even your pets can make you feel good. You may not always realize it, but their love is just as beneficial as the love you’d receive from a partner.
love isn’t just about physical intimacy. It’s about caring for someone and them caring about you. It’s important that you show that you care because that’s how you form a connection.
Don’t shut them out – you need them as much as they need you. You have to open up your heart to them. How else will you know how to love?
Searching is part of the journey
It’s unlikely that you will meet the love of your life after just one date. Sometimes the search can feel exhausting and tiresome, but it’s worth it. So many other good things can come out of it.
While you’re searching, you will be introduced to different kinds of people. These people will be from all kinds of backgrounds with unique personalities.
The more people you meet, the more you will understand what you want out of a partner and a relationship. You will also learn a lot about yourself; the kind of person you are and what you are looking for.
After some time, when the search doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, you might feel like calling it quits. While it’s true that sometimes love finds you when you’re not looking for it, you still have to make an effort. You can’t sit back and expect everything to fall in place, as it’s not always that easy.
Searching for love isn’t a waste of time. Every rejection, every “almost relationship” is leading you to find the right person.
The past is the past
A bad experience, or a few bad experiences, shouldn’t hinder you from looking for love.
Perhaps you thought that you found “the one” but it didn’t work out and now you are worried that you’ll never be able to find anything that will compare.
Except, you need to let that go and focus on the future. When you stop feeling negative about love, that’s when you can open yourself up to better opportunities.
It’s hard to stay optimistic when you haven’t had a real relationship yet, but try and look at it from a different angle.
The next person you meet, whether it’s accidentally or through a dating app, could be the one you fall deeply in love with. Life is unpredictable in that sense – you don’t know what’s around the corner.
There’s no rush